Tag Archives: Relationships

if you cream i’ll kill you

I woke up the other night by my boyfriend screaming “CREAM! CREAM!” at me.

Apparently I scratch myself so intensely in my sleep that I wake him up and he thought this was an appropriate way of telling me that I need to moisturise.

Life is surreal sometimes. 😛

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Boo-hoo Rudolph, my whole face is red.

This year was the first year when I have received christmas presents and christmas cards adressed mutually to me and my partner. I don’t have that much (any) previous experience with steady relationships and the idea that you’re supposed to get to know each other’s families and get a long with your partner’s friends seemed to me for a long time unnnecessary and pointless. Before Christmas, me and my partner discussed whether to give gifts to each other’s families, do mutual gifts or nothing. We joked about breaking up for a week around Christmas every year to avoid the situation. It felt like people might catch on to us in the long run, so we decided against it, which led to the following gift situation: We gave a mutual small gift to my partner’s family, who in return gave me and us several “real” gifts which made me feel a bit guilty. We ignored my side of the family and they also didn’t gift anything to my partner. And trust me, neither of us expected anything, but now afterwards it feels like we should think it through a bit better to next year because it just seemed a bit irregular.

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Anyhow, I’m back in England and back at work and my skin hates me. I think I triggered a roscea attack by using soap to remove my make-up. It’s especially bad under my eyes and the best way to describe it is as if I had slept with a thick layer of salt on my face. It’s red, it’s puffy and it’s itchy. It happened during the winter last year as well, and it makes putting on make-up torture. It doesn’t look particulary dry, but if I try to apply foundation my skin goes nuts and it stings like putting alcohol on an open wound. RAH!

I keep forgetting that it’s New Years Eve tomorrow. Feels like a travesty to not celebrate in the city when you live in London, but I’m planning to have a pretty calm fodue-evening at home. Mmmmm Heston Blumenthal’s 4-cheese stringy fondue. No, I won’t eat it just by myself, althouh lonely heremits should definitely be allowed to eat an entire fondue by themselves on New Years Eve.

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Yesterday was my last day at my summer job. I worked for 9 weeks straight, showed up on an average 10 minutes before my shift started, worked double shifts occasionally, often worked overtime and never requested to be compensated, covered other people’s shifts when they couldn’t work their days, never took any sick days and the only time I took a day off was when my mum was in the hospital. I offered to help out with coworker’s workload when they were stressed and I spent time on my spare time putting together an aid for one of the residents I worked with. I guess what matters in the end is if the residents I worked with thought I did a good job when working with them, which I think they did (at least a lot of them were very appreciative).

I never thought I would grow up to be someone who cared about work ethics.

But work is over and as I was biking home through the rain yesterday, it gradually hit me. The only thing that was keeping me in Sweden is gone. I could leave to London today, I have no obligations here anymore (although it would be silly to do so, as Tom is visiting in a week’s time). I have very little money and I have no idea what kind of jobs I can hope to get (if any) but like a wise old lady said at work, “The time is now”. Stockholm doesn’t offer me much anymore. I spent years in Linköping longing to get ‘home’ to Stockholm once I was done with my education and I don’t know why.  I think gradually I developed closer friendships at university and found someone I could really trust and share everything and at the same time became jaded and cynical about everyone left in Stockholm. It’s like I was seeing my life there through rose colored glasses and then someone punched me in the face. I want to and will live in Stockholm eventually, I like the city and I like being near (most) of my family, but if I do end up here permanently I will wipe the slate clean, make new friends, find new hobbies and live in another flat. Life is too short to keep doing the same thing, living in the same place and hanging out with the same people, not because you enjoy it but because of tradition and fear.

I need a break from Sweden for a while.  For once in a long while I like that my immediate future is unpredictable. Circumstances could be better but they might never be better. The time is now (or at least in 2-3 weeks 😉 ).

Home is where I rest my head

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Tom and I had our 1½ year anniversary last Sunday. We didn’t have time to celebrate properly, and to be honest I’m not sure if either of us thinks half-year anniversaries automatically means celebration, but we decided to have a date tonight instead. The only catch is that, as people who knows us are well-aware of, we are in a long-distance relationship. Really long-distance. Different countries. I think that, despite the fact that it’s getting more and more common, a lot of people still think it is a bit outlandish. That’s why I wanted to make a post about “Skype dates”, both as fun information for those who have never been in a long-distance relationship and for those who are and want ideas.

Most of the people I’ve met seem to think that long-distance relationships in general are completely fine and not a big deal. The things that raise eyebrows is either when someone is in a long-distance relationship that started online and where the couple got together before they physically met. I can’t really speak for those couples, because I imagine it is slightly different. The second thing that strikes people as weird is the idea of “online dates”. I remember reading an article, just after me and Tom got together, about a guy who had “dinner on Skype” with his girlfriend. I told Tom and we both laughed about it and concluded “That must be pretty awkward”. I guess it is because the couple in the article went to such length to create the illusion that they were physically close when they clearly wasn’t. “How do you even have a Skype dinner?” I laughed and imagined a fancy table with a trillion pieces of cutlery and lit candles facing a computer screen.

Yet here I am, some year later, and I’m starting to find it hard to remember why I thought it was so odd back then. I think that to understand why people Skype date, you have to get to the bottom of why people in long-term relationship have dates at all. Why does a couple that sees each other everyday, who eats dinner together almost every night and share a flat together, still need to have evenings with candle-lit dinner or something equally cheesy? I really can’t answer that, but it seems like most of us have a need to have a special night every once in a while, where you have an excuse to say cheesy stuff, eat cheese, drink wine while eating cheese, and maybe surprise your other half with a gift (cheese, perhaps). The difference with normal dates are (obviously) that you can show your affection by stroking someone’s hair, giving them a peck on their cheek,  murmur something naughty into their ear. Those are all things that I miss when we are apart, but they’re not the only reason for dates. I want to talk and I want to do some activity together, because that gives me a sense of intimacy.

It doesn’t have to be a dinner. We have never cooked the same dish separately, then eaten it on cam. A popular date night on Skype consists of both of us buying a bottle of wine, getting take-out and getting a movie that we watch together. If the internet speed allows it, we watch the movie on our TV:s while keeping the webcam window open, so we can watch each other laugh, react or comment on things. Eventually you stop thinking about the computer screen. I think if given an alternative, no one would chose to have a date on Skype over having a date IRL, but in the meantime it isn’t half-bad. Kind of like low-fat ice-cream; It’s not AS good but that doesn’t mean you won’t enjoy it and it does make your craving for actual ice-cream a bit easier to live with.

Tonight is comedy night, which means we have prepared for a marathon of comedy shows, like Psych and It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. Tom sent me a bit of cheddar and crackers in the mail last week, which I plan on eating tonight. I hope he will find my letter in his postbox when he gets home, because there’s something for him there too. It’s only 2 weeks until we will be together physically again, by the time we won’t have seen each other for 7 weeks. Somehow it doesn’t feel that long.

Oh, and if you’re still really unconvinced about this Skype date thing, I promise you there’s much weirder things you can do on Skype. I have a friend who met her boyfriend online while he lived in Edinburgh. Before they even met for the first time, they had a habit of taking their laptops in bed with them and leaving their webcams on while they slept, so the other could watch them sleep. I have such a crap computer that if I ever attempted to do that I would not be able to sleep from the sound of the fan and it would probably end up setting the bed on fire, but even if I did have a good enough computer I’m pretty sure that’s not for me… 😉

Skype dates: perhaps not as weird as you think

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