I have graduated from “Homes under the hammer” and am now watching the slightly higher-brow “Grand Designs” vigorously. Obviously this requires some form of drinking game. After watching some 50 episodes of the show, some pretty obvious rules start to emerge:
Take a sip every time Kevin rings a doorbell and greets the owners and act like they’ve just met, but the camera team is clearly already inside.
Take a sip for every giant window that the house has.
Take a sip for double/triple glazing.
Take a sip for solar panels.
Take a sip when Kevin McCloud speaks in French or Italian.
Take a sip when someone goes over budget because “a house like this needs high-spec furniture and fittings”.
Take a sip when Kevin “helps out”.
Take a sip if the clients go 10 % over budget.
Take a sip every time Kevin says “labour of love”, “marvellous!” or “good lord!”.
Take two sips if the client is project managing the build themselves.
– Take another sip if they have no previous building experience.
Take two sips if the neighbours are unhappy about the build.
Take two sips if Kevin indirectly insults the clients, like “some people might say it’s ridiculous”.
Take two sips if the clients go 20 % over budget.
Take two sips if the clients are planning to spend all of their money to half-finish the build and then re-mortgage the build to get the money to finish it.
Take three sips every time someone ends up pregnant before the build is complete.
Take three sips if the clients have to import material from a different country to build.
Take three sips if it starts raining at a very inconvenient time, like before the roof is isolated.
Take three sips if the windows costs more than 10 % of the total budget.
Take three sips if the clients go 30 % over budget.
Down a shot every time Kevin uses a really budget prop.
Down two shots if he’s bought something just to use it as a prop.
Down three shots if the prop is edible.
Down a glass if the clients gets rid of their contractors and/or replaces them.
Down a glass if a part of the build breaks down.
Down a glass if a custom-made object has the wrong measurements/doesn’t fit with some other part of the build.
Down a glass if planning permission is denied.
Down a glass if the clients go 50 % or more over budget.
Down the entire bottles if the clients are outright refusing to reveal the total cost of the build.
Down the entire bottle if the clients have spent all of their money to half-finish the build and then re-mortgage, but the bank denies them the mortgage.
Down the entire bottle if the house isn’t finished when the episode ends (I hate those episodes!).
Down the entire bottle if the owners of the build appears to hate Kevin by the end of the episode.