Tag Archives: humor

Badly visualized song lyrics

 

I was bored and slightly drunk the other night and decided to make doodles from song lyrics that makes me stop in my tracks and think “wait, what?”. I have a zillion other examples of this,- to be honest, lyrics often doesn’t make much sense or sound ridiculous when taken out of context or simply misheard.

Exhibit A) “Drinking freedom from a bottle to the tuna belowww” Blue October: X-Amound of Words (another gem from the same song, not yet visualized, is “So mistreated, I repeated never blessing your sneeze”). Googling the lyrics tells me the actual line is “to the tune of belong” but I visualized what it sounded like to me:

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Exhibit B) “Black lemon. So Juuuicy, confuuuusing.” Black Moth Super Rainbow: Hairspray Heart. According to the lyrics I can find online it’s supposed to be “Face like a lemon, so juicy, confuse me” which it doesn’t sound like and doesn’t make any sense either.

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Exhibit C) “I fought and I craved for the gravy of your soul.” Susanne Sundfør: White foxes. When I first heart it I assumed it was supposed to be “the bravery of your soul”, but it’s actually gravy. Yum, gravy.

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Life Imitating Art: Fresh Meat and Fighting Techniques

In the latest episode of Fresh Meat, Howard was preparing to fight another man. He got the advice that a fight is more than just physical strength and that he could gain the upper hand by asking his opponent something really random and confusing, and by doing so catching them off guard. When I saw the episode, I thought nothing of it, but little did I know that the advice would be useful to me a few hours later. It was yesterday morning and I had somehow gotten involved in a tickling fight; it’s possible that I may have started it. Tom makes the most ridiculous and disturbing sound a man can make while being tickled, and I regret that I wasn’t able to record it at the time. It sounds something like “Nyyya! nyyya! nyyyahhahah!” but in one octave higher than his usual speaking voice. It wouldn’t be so weird if he did it on purpose, which I thought was the case at first, but I believe that’s just the way he unintentionally laughs when being tickled. W.T.F. It’s about as disturbing as Jimmy Carr’s laughter (“It sounds a bit like a seal being molested”, if you don’t know what I’m talking about, check it out here).

Anyhow, he has the advantage of being both stronger and heavier than me, so I ended up being pinned down. After like 5 minutes of trying to wriggle, claw and headbutt my way free, I almost accepted my fate. Then suddenly I thought of what Howard had done… and said “Do you know why your eye color is slightly different when you see them in the mirror?” BAM! I’m not entirely sure how I did it, but during that moment of confusion I managed to catch him off-guard and push him onto his back and place my knees on his arms. Soooo proud of myself!

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Can’t drink to that! Pt 1 Birthday edition.

Life’s little mishaps are more fun when you make it into a game! It’s my mum’s 53rd birthday today so I put together a drinking game for birthday celebrations. It’s perhaps most suitable for people who lead dysfunctional lives.

 

Take one sip of beer for…

– Every birthday card you receive that includes.

A)  A senile old woman/man (n/a if you’re turning 70 or above).

B) A fluffy animal with a paper hat and/or cake.

C) An ‘inspirational message’.

– Every time someone screws up a word in the Happy Birthday Song.

– Every candle on your cake.

 

Take two sips of beer for…

– Every birthday card that includes a bible quote or an otherwise very religious message.

– Every gift that is a bible or a hymn book (take three if you’re openly not religious).

– Every gift where the gift giver says “I saw it and I thought of you immediately!” and you/the recipient is confused/offended.

 

Take a mouthful  of wine for…

– Every singer that is completely tone deaf when singing Happy Birthday.

– Every card that shows up from relatives that you haven’t spoken to in years.

– Every piece of cheese and chocolate, because it’s a yummy combination.

 

Down half a bottle of vodka…

– For every family member or close friend that forgets your birthday.

– If your significant other breaks up with you on your birthday.

– No one turns up to your birthday party.

 

Down a bottle of tequila if…

– A birthday stripper shows up.

– A gift turns out to be a sex toy, and has been opened in front of friends and family.

– A gift turns out to be a pet that you didn’t want.

– Your age now ends with a zero (40, 50, 60 and yes, 10 counts too).

 

Down the entire keg if…

– Your age now ends with two zeroes.

– The pet that you were gifted died while in the gift box.

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