Hoo-kay… I had a really messed up dream last night. I’m a woman and I contain a uterus, so it’s kind of a given that every once in a while I dream that I’m pregnant or that I have a baby. I figure it’s something most women dream about occasionally: getting knocked up and not wanting the baby, getting knocked up and really wanting a baby, or not being able to have a baby despite really wanting one. This whole having-or-not-having children thing is a pretty big deal to most people so it makes sense that it pops up in your head sometimes when sleeping. I’m going to guess that no one has had the exact same dream that I had last night though.
I dreamed that I was in my flat in England when I got a phone call from mum telling me to come to a hospital in Sweden because my baby was born. I go to Sweden and meet my mum and my sister at the hospital. My mum says I gave birth there yesterday and the infant is the size of a fat two-year old. I am confused, because I haven’t been pregnant and I’ve been in England the whole time, and I have no recollection of giving birth or anything. Then mum starts saying something about that a version of me gave birth to the huge infant. I take care of the infant for a while, but I realize more and more that this doesn’t make any sense, so I go to mum and my sister and look at them with a serious expression and says: “Somehow, another version of me was created, went back in time and got knocked up and then gave birth and then plopped out of existence. Don’t you think that’s a little bit weird?” Both my mum and my sister looked at me with a puzzled expression and then replied “No, not at all”, despite that for this entire theory to be possible the space-time-continuum must have had a pretty epic hiccup and that I was now expected to care for an infant that was basically a abomination of all physics.
By that point I just decided “Fuck this, I must be dreaming” and turned and walked away.
Just what? I swear to God someone is doping me with LSD when I’m sleeping.