Tag Archives: Drinking game

Can’t drink to that pt: Grand Designs

I have graduated from “Homes under the hammer” and am now watching the slightly higher-brow “Grand Designs” vigorously. Obviously this requires some form of drinking game. After watching some 50 episodes of the show, some pretty obvious rules start to emerge:

Take a sip every time Kevin rings a doorbell and greets the owners and act like they’ve just met, but the camera team is clearly already inside.

Take a sip for every giant window that the house has.

Take a sip for double/triple glazing.

Take a sip for solar panels.

Take a sip when Kevin McCloud speaks in French or Italian.

Take a sip when someone goes over budget because “a house like this needs high-spec furniture and fittings”.

Take a sip when Kevin “helps out”.

Take a sip if the clients go 10 % over budget.

Take a sip every time Kevin says “labour of love”, “marvellous!” or “good lord!”.

 

Take two sips if the client is project managing the build themselves.

– Take another sip if they have no previous building experience.

Take two sips if the neighbours are unhappy about the build.

Take two sips if Kevin indirectly insults the clients, like “some people might say it’s ridiculous”.

Take two sips if the clients go 20 % over budget.

Take two sips if the clients are planning to spend all of their money to half-finish the build and then re-mortgage the build to get the money to finish it.

 

Take three sips every time someone ends up pregnant before the build is complete.

Take three sips if the clients have to import material from a different country to build.

Take three sips if it starts raining at a very inconvenient time, like before the roof is isolated.

Take three sips if the windows costs more than 10 % of the total budget.

Take three sips if the clients go 30 % over budget.

 

Down a shot every time Kevin uses a really budget prop.

Down two shots if he’s bought something just to use it as a prop.

Down three shots if the prop is edible.

 

Down a glass if the clients gets rid of their contractors and/or replaces them.

Down a glass if a part of the build breaks down.

Down a glass if a custom-made object has the wrong measurements/doesn’t fit with some other part of the build.

Down a glass if planning permission is denied.

Down a glass if the clients go 50 % or more over budget.

 

Down the entire bottles if the clients are outright refusing to reveal the total cost of the build.

Down the entire bottle if the clients have spent all of their money to half-finish the build and then re-mortgage, but the bank denies them the mortgage.

Down the entire bottle if the house isn’t finished when the episode ends (I hate those episodes!).

Down the entire bottle if the owners of the build appears to hate Kevin by the end of the episode.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Can’t drink to that! Pt 1 Birthday edition.

Life’s little mishaps are more fun when you make it into a game! It’s my mum’s 53rd birthday today so I put together a drinking game for birthday celebrations. It’s perhaps most suitable for people who lead dysfunctional lives.

 

Take one sip of beer for…

– Every birthday card you receive that includes.

A)  A senile old woman/man (n/a if you’re turning 70 or above).

B) A fluffy animal with a paper hat and/or cake.

C) An ‘inspirational message’.

– Every time someone screws up a word in the Happy Birthday Song.

– Every candle on your cake.

 

Take two sips of beer for…

– Every birthday card that includes a bible quote or an otherwise very religious message.

– Every gift that is a bible or a hymn book (take three if you’re openly not religious).

– Every gift where the gift giver says “I saw it and I thought of you immediately!” and you/the recipient is confused/offended.

 

Take a mouthful  of wine for…

– Every singer that is completely tone deaf when singing Happy Birthday.

– Every card that shows up from relatives that you haven’t spoken to in years.

– Every piece of cheese and chocolate, because it’s a yummy combination.

 

Down half a bottle of vodka…

– For every family member or close friend that forgets your birthday.

– If your significant other breaks up with you on your birthday.

– No one turns up to your birthday party.

 

Down a bottle of tequila if…

– A birthday stripper shows up.

– A gift turns out to be a sex toy, and has been opened in front of friends and family.

– A gift turns out to be a pet that you didn’t want.

– Your age now ends with a zero (40, 50, 60 and yes, 10 counts too).

 

Down the entire keg if…

– Your age now ends with two zeroes.

– The pet that you were gifted died while in the gift box.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,