Tag Archives: Beer

BAC Beer fest

I was at a beer fest yesterday. I think I was at least 30 years younger than the average and had one third of the average beer gut and the ratio between women and men was something like 1:15, but I had a good time. I can’t drink much at all anymore due to my sensitive stomach. I had two half-pints and after that I felt really queasy. The beers we had were called Pickled Santa (Hop Back: fucking awful), Intergalatic IPA (Black Iris: yummy), Espresso Stout (Dark Star, for being coffee-induced beer it was relatively drinkable, but not exactly tasty), BG Sips (Blue Monkey: alright), Rat of Khan (Rat and Ratchet: I didn’t like it – too lager-y and bitter for me) and Blackberry Cascade (Saltaire: horrible! Didn’t taste of blackberries at all, in my opinion). I wanted to try these ones, but my stomach wasn’t really up for it: Naked Ladies (by Twickenham, just because of the name, it’s funny to order), Dark Side Of The Moose (Purple Moose, guess three times why I wanted it), Raspberry Blonde and Triple Chocoholic (both Saltaire: not sure if they’re actually good but if you manage to fuse raspberries or chocolate with beer successfully I bet it would be awesome).

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Can’t drink to that! Pt 1 Birthday edition.

Life’s little mishaps are more fun when you make it into a game! It’s my mum’s 53rd birthday today so I put together a drinking game for birthday celebrations. It’s perhaps most suitable for people who lead dysfunctional lives.

 

Take one sip of beer for…

– Every birthday card you receive that includes.

A)  A senile old woman/man (n/a if you’re turning 70 or above).

B) A fluffy animal with a paper hat and/or cake.

C) An ‘inspirational message’.

– Every time someone screws up a word in the Happy Birthday Song.

– Every candle on your cake.

 

Take two sips of beer for…

– Every birthday card that includes a bible quote or an otherwise very religious message.

– Every gift that is a bible or a hymn book (take three if you’re openly not religious).

– Every gift where the gift giver says “I saw it and I thought of you immediately!” and you/the recipient is confused/offended.

 

Take a mouthful  of wine for…

– Every singer that is completely tone deaf when singing Happy Birthday.

– Every card that shows up from relatives that you haven’t spoken to in years.

– Every piece of cheese and chocolate, because it’s a yummy combination.

 

Down half a bottle of vodka…

– For every family member or close friend that forgets your birthday.

– If your significant other breaks up with you on your birthday.

– No one turns up to your birthday party.

 

Down a bottle of tequila if…

– A birthday stripper shows up.

– A gift turns out to be a sex toy, and has been opened in front of friends and family.

– A gift turns out to be a pet that you didn’t want.

– Your age now ends with a zero (40, 50, 60 and yes, 10 counts too).

 

Down the entire keg if…

– Your age now ends with two zeroes.

– The pet that you were gifted died while in the gift box.

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