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Some springtime pictures

From yesterday 🙂

We walked in a park in Beckenham that has a lot of wild parakeets. It was weird seeing them in such a cold and urban environment! Figured they must have been someone’s pets at some point and been set lose or escaped. I bought a cheap point-and-shoot that I can carry with me everywhere, so here’s some photos from the park.

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Stopped by a coffee shop on the way back. Tom got a latte with a heart drawn with the milk. I got a cappuchino with what looks like a farting butt on it.

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4 Cleaning hacks

It’s funny how people can get used to the oddest things and how easily people get stuck doing something a certain way because it’s a part of a routine. From the little things to the bigger things. As an example, when I make the table I always put the knife to the right side of the plate despite that I almost always only use a fork when eating, and when I do use my knife I have to grab it with my left hand. It’s the dumbest thing, but ever since someone told me “that’s the right way to make a doily”, it irks me to do it in a different way. Yet I drink straight from the milk jug, slurp my soup and dip my sandwiches in yoghurt. I’m hardly proper.

I like to have a certain order in my life. That order may resemblance chaos to others, but I want every item in my home to have a designated spot. I hate filth and I hate not having clean surfaces; those are my two biggest pet peeves. I don’t mind other people’s homes being messy, but it makes me anxious when I don’t have time to clean my own home to the standard that I like, even when I don’t have visitors. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I like cleaning, because if I did I’m afraid my boyfriend and anyone else I might live with in the future might give up on it all together. It’s not so much that I enjoy it rather than I tend to get stuck doing it. There’s always something else that could be better, could be cleaner, could be tidier.

Anyhow, I’ve learned a few cleaning hacks (some might call them cleaning fixations) through my job and I thought I’d share them with a couple of crude paint illustrations. At work, I gladly take on the duty of doing the dishes. Doing the dishes is my least favourite chore to do at home, but at work it’s an easy task that gives me a chance to let my mind wander and it gives me a sort of zen-feeling to organize the dishes. Which reminds me, why do most people people fill the cutlery basket with forks, knives and spoons mixed when the baskets are perfect for putting them all separately like this before loading them into the machine:

 

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It annoys me to no end when I’ve started stocking a basket like this and someone comes along and puts a fork and a knife together with the spoons. It literally takes no extra time to put them in the correct section and it makes putting theram away afterwards easier! In the same vein, there’s a correct way to put up clothing on a collapsible clothing rack. The most essential rule here is to put your underwear and socks on the lowest rack first. If you put t-shirts and trousers on first, they will obsqure the lower racks and make it hard to see what space is available. You’d think this would be common sense, but nope.

Another good kitchen hack is to put a big siv in the sink as you’re doing the dishes. It’ll catch the food bits that come off. Once you’re done, just empty the siv into the food bin and you don’t have to mess about with trying to clean the drain.

To finish it off, here’s a coffee-making trick an old person taught me that just made so much sense:

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Sun, gorgeous sun.

It’s been almost summery goodness the last few days.

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Unfortunately this is how the street outside our building has looked like the last few days. I’ve seen the garbage truck drive by when I go to work at 6 am, but the trash remains. Probably because it’s illegal flytipping and if they remove it straight away, they think they’re encouraging it. Still sucks to live right next to it.

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Can’t drink to that pt: Grand Designs

I have graduated from “Homes under the hammer” and am now watching the slightly higher-brow “Grand Designs” vigorously. Obviously this requires some form of drinking game. After watching some 50 episodes of the show, some pretty obvious rules start to emerge:

Take a sip every time Kevin rings a doorbell and greets the owners and act like they’ve just met, but the camera team is clearly already inside.

Take a sip for every giant window that the house has.

Take a sip for double/triple glazing.

Take a sip for solar panels.

Take a sip when Kevin McCloud speaks in French or Italian.

Take a sip when someone goes over budget because “a house like this needs high-spec furniture and fittings”.

Take a sip when Kevin “helps out”.

Take a sip if the clients go 10 % over budget.

Take a sip every time Kevin says “labour of love”, “marvellous!” or “good lord!”.

 

Take two sips if the client is project managing the build themselves.

– Take another sip if they have no previous building experience.

Take two sips if the neighbours are unhappy about the build.

Take two sips if Kevin indirectly insults the clients, like “some people might say it’s ridiculous”.

Take two sips if the clients go 20 % over budget.

Take two sips if the clients are planning to spend all of their money to half-finish the build and then re-mortgage the build to get the money to finish it.

 

Take three sips every time someone ends up pregnant before the build is complete.

Take three sips if the clients have to import material from a different country to build.

Take three sips if it starts raining at a very inconvenient time, like before the roof is isolated.

Take three sips if the windows costs more than 10 % of the total budget.

Take three sips if the clients go 30 % over budget.

 

Down a shot every time Kevin uses a really budget prop.

Down two shots if he’s bought something just to use it as a prop.

Down three shots if the prop is edible.

 

Down a glass if the clients gets rid of their contractors and/or replaces them.

Down a glass if a part of the build breaks down.

Down a glass if a custom-made object has the wrong measurements/doesn’t fit with some other part of the build.

Down a glass if planning permission is denied.

Down a glass if the clients go 50 % or more over budget.

 

Down the entire bottles if the clients are outright refusing to reveal the total cost of the build.

Down the entire bottle if the clients have spent all of their money to half-finish the build and then re-mortgage, but the bank denies them the mortgage.

Down the entire bottle if the house isn’t finished when the episode ends (I hate those episodes!).

Down the entire bottle if the owners of the build appears to hate Kevin by the end of the episode.

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Badly visualized song lyrics

 

I was bored and slightly drunk the other night and decided to make doodles from song lyrics that makes me stop in my tracks and think “wait, what?”. I have a zillion other examples of this,- to be honest, lyrics often doesn’t make much sense or sound ridiculous when taken out of context or simply misheard.

Exhibit A) “Drinking freedom from a bottle to the tuna belowww” Blue October: X-Amound of Words (another gem from the same song, not yet visualized, is “So mistreated, I repeated never blessing your sneeze”). Googling the lyrics tells me the actual line is “to the tune of belong” but I visualized what it sounded like to me:

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Exhibit B) “Black lemon. So Juuuicy, confuuuusing.” Black Moth Super Rainbow: Hairspray Heart. According to the lyrics I can find online it’s supposed to be “Face like a lemon, so juicy, confuse me” which it doesn’t sound like and doesn’t make any sense either.

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Exhibit C) “I fought and I craved for the gravy of your soul.” Susanne Sundfør: White foxes. When I first heart it I assumed it was supposed to be “the bravery of your soul”, but it’s actually gravy. Yum, gravy.

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Disappointing free stuff

You might remember from a few blog entries back that I had ordered several free samples of perfumes. I was hoping that it would come in pretty, tiny bottles. I WAS WRONG. Four out of 5 samples haven’t turned up, and the ones that did are from Burberry and they’re SHIT. It’s basically smelling strips, a piece of paper with foil on it that you pull off to release the scent. I tried rubbing it on my wrist and my wrist turned black (great, since I had to go to work just afterwards and can’t wear long sleeves at work). I think a lot of the appeal of perfume is the design of the bottle and not just the smell, so these strips really aren’t doing it for me.

Shitty cellphone photo of shitty perfume samples:Image

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What horror has this rock seen?

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Horrified stone on the beach. Or is it a happy face? I’m going for a grin of terror.

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We had a little cookie decoration competition a couple of days ago. Turns out neither of us can actually decorate cookies! We made two of each shape and decorated 10 cookies each. I’m going to go ahead and say that I don’t think either of us are meant to become cookie decorating artists. I decided to post this because a) It could be a fun thing to do with your children? (although I should point out that I would never eat something a child has touched unless it was my own child). b) Even better to do when drunk.

Alright, this was our equipment (+ a whole loud of icing sugar):Image

And this was the results (my cookies are on the right):

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(It’s supposed to be Homer Simpsons on the left and Walter White on the right).

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We left a bit of a mess too:

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Cookie decorating competition – atrocious delicious

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Fancy traditional steak and potato dinner – Vegetarian Edition

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I’m a vegetarian but sometimes I like to keep things traditional and make a “steak and potatoes” fancy dinner. This is what I made last night and I decided to post it here if anyone is looking for ideas. It’s not very complicated, it’s just Hasselback potatoes, red wine sauce, peppered Quorn steaks and some steamed cauliflower and broccoli on the side. We followed this recipe for the red wine sauce. The Hasselback potatoes are made by peeling a few big potatoes and slicing them thinly, putting them in a wooden spoon to avoid cutting all the way through. After you’re done slicing them, they’re supposed to be buttered and put into the oven for 25 minutes. After 25 minutes you should take them out and butter them again and cover them in breadcrumbs and salt and then put them back into the oven for another 25 minutes. I screwed up and put the breadcrumbs on first thing, but it was fine. The peppered Quorn steaks doesn’t require much cooking and they’re already seasoned, so I just buttered them and put them in the oven for like 10 minutes. Delicious!

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Neon colored bodily fluids

Day 11 of my cold and my snot has turned an alarmingly bright neon yellow. Is my nose like a mood ring? What does it all mean??