Category Archives: Private life

I flew with Norwegian Airlines yesterday. I usually fly with Ryan Air, so flying with NA is almost luxury, but the trip could have been significantly better if the passenger in front of me didn’t fart every 5th minute. I could tell because every fifth minute I was hit by a stench so atrocious I was afraid it might bring down the plane. Kind of like my mum’s dog at the moment, who is laying next to me on the sofa. To top it off, the farting passenger had the NERVE to recline his seat. You’d think that if he knew what stench he was causing, he’d be humble and embarrassed enough to curl into a ball and keep his head down until he was off the plane.

The last week or so has been pretty strange. I’ve had to finish writing 4 different essays for my distance courses, which I managed to do, even if they’re not very good. The idea was always to have the distance courses as a back-up if I wasn’t happy at work, but what happened was that I ended up working almost full-time and at the same time taking courses with enough credit to qualify as full-time. It’s been a bit tricky and stressful at times, even though I’ve pretty much managed to write an essay that was meant to be written during a month’s time in basically 8 hours. I haven’t found out whether I’ve passed yet though, so I’m holding off on the celebration.

After I finished writing and submitting everything, I came down with a cold and didn’t really do much. I eventually went and saw Godzilla at the cinema. It was a pretty dumb flick, but entertaining nonetheless. I like monster films, but I’m more a fan of the hide-the-monster genre than the monster-in-your-face genre… I think that goes for any horror film, actually. I think one of Godzilla’s strengths is the fighting/destruction scenes, but if nice monster fighting scenes aren’t enough for you to like a film, then Godzilla is probably not for you.

Airplane farts, essay writing and Godzilla

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Gif-tastic

I just laughed out loud at this. That hesitating move of the black car closest to the hole and the other asshole cars not moving to let it get away. “Look, guys, I’m really sorry, but could you guys, like move a bit, so I don’t end up in the big sinkhole that is opening up next to me? No? Ok I guess I’ll just inch a bit closer to you…”

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Leaving London

Yup, tomorrow I’m leaving London “for good”, or at least the foreseeable future. I got two bags alá 20 kg ready to go.

I’m in general not a sentimental person. Terrified of change, yes, but not particularly sentimental. I won’t miss the flat we live in; it’s tiny and has an odd shape. I won’t miss the car alarm that goes off roughly 3-5 times a day, 24/7, outside our window. I won’t miss the pimps and their customers, or whatever they are, scaring the SHIT out of me by ringing our door bell everywhere between 8 pm – 4 am. Apparently there’s a travelling brothel in the neighbourhood, which is not quite like a travelling circus. If I had to stay here any longer I’d do a Sebastian Horsley and put up this sign:

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I will miss the copious amounts of ready-food, cheap and easily available just outside our door. We had Indian take-out from Sangri yesterday, which was fucking glorious, and we might go across the road tonight and get fancy ice-cream. The reason is that we have a jar of coins that we’ve been meaning to spend for ages and now that I’m leaving we need to get on it. Here’s some food porn for you from yesterday:

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The wine is called the Hedonist. We bought it because it had a pig on it and we had already tried the one with the cat on it.

 

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A trip to Edinburgh (Edin-burrah?)

One thing I’ve never quite understood with big bloggers is this: To get interesting content, you need to go out and do interesting things. But when I’m out doing lots of interesting things, I don’t have time to blog, because I’m too busy doing interesting things!

So this is basically me assuring you that, despite the lack of activity on this blog recently, I actually go out and do things. Really. <_<

Well, I have managed to squeeze in a mini-holiday in Edinburgh, an evening at the theatre and a afternoon-evening recording of QI in under a week’s time. I’ve also bought a new phone. All that won’t fit in one post though, so let’s start with the trip to Edinburgh:

I got up at 4 am in the morning to go in to King’s Cross. I arrived something like 1 ½ hours early since I get hopelessly stressed about travelling and the only thing that soothes my nerves is to have plenty of time. I tried to stealthily take a photo of the Harry Potter-dedicated statue, but it didn’t turn out good.

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The train ride up to Edinburgh took roughly 4½ hours. My friends met me at the train station and we went to leave our bags at the guest house. The guest house was far better than anticipated! It’s called the Claymore Vegetarian Guest house. The room was big and nicely decorated and the lady who ran the place was incredibly helpful and kind. Plus, the breakfast rocked. I don’t think anyone could claim that there’s not enough to eat with a vegetarian diet after staying at that place.

So I won’t go through everything we did during our trip, but here are some highlights:

Camera Obscura. I loooved the floor with the mirror labyrinth and light tunnel. I spent a whole minute thinking I was talking and looking at my friend, only to realize I was talking to a mirror image straight in front of me and that she was actually standing to my right. She did the same thing. Loved it. The photo below is my new profile picture on Facebook.

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Walking up Arthur’s seat. I saw several parents going up and down with toddlers. Why do they do that to themselves? It sounds horrible. Or maybe I’m just unfit because I felt pretty sweaty and out of breath by the time I reached the top, and I can’t imagine doing it all over again with a toddler.

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Going for a hike. Everything went fine going up, but as we were heading down I decided to run down a part of a hill and somehow injured my elbow by waving my arms too violently. It was pretty painful for the rest of the day, but went away after a night. Strange!

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Bought this ridiculous fox sweater from Hoochie Coochie that I have fallen in love with. I think I might be subconsciously dorking it up to prepare myself for doing a ph.d.

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Went out clubbing. Not really my thing but I didn’t think the scene was particularly good. Café Voltaire was OK, but we made the mistake of leaving to check out Espionage. What a weird place! Not many people were there and there was like a 9/1 ratio of men/women. There was literally only men on the dance floor, desparetly trying to get our group of girls to join them as some guy was doing what looked like push-ups on the floor. What is it with guys thinking that shit like push-up, arm stands, boxing, flexing, stretching and jumping jacks is anything REMOTELY acceptable when dancing??! I think everyone that isn’t a trained professional looks perfectly ridiculous when dancing, but come on, those guys are doing their absolute most and the saddest/most hilarious part is how confident they must be to even think about doing it. I’ll repeat: Doing training exercises is not, I repeat NOT, a dance move!

We ordered a fishbowl which only tasted of pineapple juice. I hate pineapple 😦 Admittedly it was my own fault, since the ingredient list clearly said ‘pineapple’.

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The evening ended with me getting annoyed by some Scottish guy who made the most pathetic drunken move on me that I’ve ever experienced. First he made a dismissive hand gesture and half-shoved, half-wedged himself between where me an my friends were sitting. As he said down, I sarcastically greeted him with “Oh hi, I think you meant to say ‘Would you mind if I sat down, please?'” because I was already quite annoyed, to which he drunkenly replied with putting his arms around my shoulders. Greeeaaat. He then continued for something like 10 minutes to nag me to go dance with him, sort of in the same style as a three year-old asking for ice-cream, while slurring incomprehensibly. Eventually I more or less told him to fuck off, which was the highlight of the evening for me. I will give this advice to anyone: Don’t tolerate people who make you uncomfortable just because you think you need to be polite and nice. Just tell them to fuck off. Most people know they’re making you uncomfortable and are just using a façade of niceness and the fact that people “don’t want to be seen as rude” to get away with it.

We walked around the city. I love city walks, I could probably have spent an entire trip just walking around in Edinburgh. I thought the incorporation of the old and the new in Edinburgh fascinating. Most of the modern buildings really didn’t fit in. I thought this building was quite cool though:

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Phew! I have plenty more photos but I don’t really have the patience to upload them and I don’t think you have the patience to look through them. Keep posted for more stuff later in the week!

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I went into town and did some shopping today. I ended up spending £1, but received stuff worth £13, which is not really typical for my shopping days! The explanation is that the last time I shopped at Victorias Secret, they gave me a complimentary voucher for £10. I had planned to use it to buy underwear, but the underwear they had was not my style and quite frankly not very nice-looking, so I used it to buy an £11 body lotion instead. I’m not sure if the girl in the register was impressed or embarrassed on my behalf, but hey, almost-free-stuff is awesome. I also used an O2-offer and got free chocolate from Hotel Chocolate. Sweet!

This is the body lotion I bought:

While in town, I walked past St James Park again. It’s a very nice park but it was packed with tourists today, it was horrible. The pelicans had decided to lay down in the middle of the walk way. Eventually they stood up to stretch their wings, and no one dared to walk past in case they would lash out and bite. I got by fine. Google isn’t really helpful on the topic of pelican bites. When I typed in “does pelican bites hurt” wikianswer replied with “maybe”… thanks.

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Group of people who stopped for the pelicans:IMAG3499

Cheapskate shopping and pelicans

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We were supposed to go to the recording of The Last Leg yesterday, but bailed out a few hours before it was supposed to take place because we were tired and both of us realized that The Last Leg isn’t that good any more. They’re too obsessed with twitter and there’s just something off about the jokes and the interaction. The cute one from the IT Crowd was supposed to be on, but it just didn’t seem worth leaving our cosy home to go out and see it.

Instead we stayed in, which turned out to be a good idea as I was super tired and fell asleep on the sofa 8 pm and didn’t wake up until my boyfriend put a toothbrush in my hand and told me to go to bed. Apparently I screamed “YOU SHOULD DRINK MY TEA OR IT WILL GO COLD” at him and then went to the bathroom. We have a tradition of always taking a photo or making a video when the other person falls asleep ridiculously early, so here’s a video of me brushing my teeth in my sleep.

So today started at 7am with half a cooked breakfast. It’s been great weather today, it was almost warm enough to walk outside without a jacket or a sweater on. We had a look around Spitsfield Market, where I found a use for the otherwise pointless habit that my boyfriend has of randomly walking off. Whenever I was bothered by a salesman and wanted to leave, I just said “oh! Where has he gone off to? Sorry, I just have to find my boyfriend, I’ll see you later”. I’ve been informed that I’m a horrible liar, but I digress.

After Spitsfield, we went around Oxford Circus. It’s was packed! So many people about today. I ended up buying something from a fancier store (it’s a gift so I won’t reveal what or where) and got one of those really nice big paper shopping bags with velvet straps like you see in Sex and The City. Nice shopping bags make me happy. I tried to google which stores have the nicest shopping bags but it seems like that’s a list that hasn’t yet been made, which is unfortunate because I’d make sure to go shopping there.

On the way back we went past Scandinavian Kitchen and picked up my favourite crisps and chocolate, so the evening has been spent consuming far too many calories with no regrets. Yummmm, transfats and salt. Hopefully I burn enough calories at work to make up for it.

Happy weekend everyone!

Manic London

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I haven’t posted in the few days because I’ve worked like 21 hours in 30 hours and I wasn’t going to spend a minute of my precious spare time posting. I tried uploading a post from my phone, of my cappuccino which looked a bit like a sloth, but it didn’t work. I’m sure you must be weeping at the thought of missing out of such high quality material so I saved the photo for you:

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Umm. Yeah.

In other words, not much has been going on. I was dumb enough to agree to do work 7 am – 9 pm yesterday and 7 am – 2 pm today. I thought it would be fine, but it turns out I haven’t quite recovered from my cold and when I came home yesterday evening I was having a lot of coughing fits. The irony is that I agreed to take on the shifts to make up for the days I was home sick last week, because I don’t have any sick pay. Oh well, all I need is a good rest and then I will be fine…ish. The problem with starting work at 7 am is that I have to get up at 5 – 5:30 am to get ready, which is a pain when you’ve worked until 9 pm the day before because there’s not enough time to sleep or wind down. Luckily I’m only working evening tomorrow, which means I get to sleep in!

Sorry for the pointless update, I will leave you with this to make up for it:

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Coffee-cup sloths

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I have never…

* Bought my own socks (until last week). They just mysteriously show up in my drawer or are gifted to me. I’m starting to think that all the socks that other people lose in their laundry have found a black hole that teleports them to my drawer.

* Visited a grave on my own. I’m not religious and I don’t believe in an afterlife, or that visiting a grave is the only way to honour someone’s memory, so it never occurred to me. I’ve been thinking about doing it recently.

* Understood avocados properly.

* Bought Converse-styled shoes. I hate them, they’re ugly and uncomfortable.

* Owned a video game console or a video game. I’ve only played video games a few times, and that was only with other people.

* Bought my own holiday decorations. Not a single tinsel or ornament. I’m not really interested in decorating for Easter or Christmas, but I will do it for the sake of others.

* Been to a wedding.

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The very important job of making family Christmas Cards

For the last few years, mum has asked/nagged/demanded me to create a family Christmas card on Photoshop and I’ve obliged. Partly because I want to make mum happy, partly because I like editing photos, partly because it’s an… interesting challenge.

It seems like most people in my age have parents that believe that computers are magical, incomprehensible machine, but that somehow the secret wisdom of computers was imparted on their children the second we left the womb. Every 20-something hold the power to do almost anything with it with just a click of the mouse, and if we can’t get it to work, it’s simply because we don’t want to do it. My boyfriend constantly gets cryptic texts from his mum with questions like “Why is the green thing gone”, “what’s my password?”, and “I think I made the hard drive disappear. How do I get it back?”. It’s always completely innocent questions that leaves you wondering “What the freaking hell did she do? What is she talking about and how could Tom possibly know how to fix it?”.  My mum doesn’t ask as much computer questions, but that might just be because she has given up trying to understand computers and simply doesn’t use them anymore.

My point is that mum’s understanding of Photoshop is not the greatest and that I wouldn’t be surprised if she sent me a comment like this:

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Click on the image to see a collection of puzzling editing requests. Anyhow,  about this year’s family Christmas card. One rare year I got professionally taken photos to work with, but most of the time it’s a mix of regular cellphone photos taken with varying lighting conditions and backgrounds that needs to be cropped and copied into a card. I know mum wouldn’t mind that much if it looked like a tacky mess (as long as I put Christmas hats on the cats and the dog, lighten her teeth and add a decorative background), but it’s a matter of pride for me to try to make it look at least a little good. If I can’t do that, I’ll go in for making it purposefully tacky. One year, I just gave up and sketched a Christmas card instead.

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This was from the year when we had our photo taken by a professional photographer (my mum thinks he’s great, but a bunch of his photos are blurry. At least he has good equipment):

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Anyhow, these were the photos I had to play with this year. They’re not too bad individually, but they’re hardly any similarities between them. They’re all taken under different lightning conditions, different poses and using different equipments. They’re also taken in late August, which doesn’t really give you any Christmas feelings.

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This is what I managed to put together. I’m kind of disappointed that I couldn’t include any pets this year! I tried fitting in Bagheera the Dog in the card but it looked ridiculous. His head was floating in the corner of the card like he was a ghost dog looking down upon us from dog heaven.

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I can’t find any of the other Christmas Cards I’ve made, but maybe that’s for the best. Merry Christmas times, everyone, and be nice to each other. I don’t believe in God or Jesus, but I believe that a lot of people want to have a special occasion to show their appreciation for their loved ones, and Christmas is an excellent opportunity for that.

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Oups! Seems like I haven’t posted that much lately. I blame not being near my laptop that much the last couple of days. I’ve been busy doing training for my new job. I would write about it if it weren’t for the fear of breaking their social media policy; seems like you can get in trouble for just posting photos of yourself wearing their uniform online, so it seems better to play it safe. It’s a shame because the uniforms are GORGEOUS. I’ve never seen such lovely health care uniforms.  I want to wear them in my grave.

Anyhow, my week started off with celebrating our 2nd anniversary by going down to Afters for desserts. Afters is a dessert place that serves desserts until late, late in the evening. To make it better, it’s literally just around the corner from where we live. I’m not a big anniversary person and I don’t really want to do the whole gift-thing when there’s only a month left until Christmas, but any reason is a good reason to have ice-cream. I had a £10 chocolate fudge sundae with strawberries and I was really happy that it didn’t even make my mouth tingle from allergies.

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The following day was spent training while Tom was home making pralines, polenta-based sponge cake and mushroom risotto. He can’t be left in the kitchen without supervision for too long, or I’d come home to a functional patisserie. The same evening the following conversation took place:

Me: I’m really in the mood for Fanta, but I forgot to put it in the fridge so it’s not cold.

Tom: Just put it in the freezer and set a timer for 30 minutes and it will be cold.

Me: Good idea! But I don’t need a timer, I will just keep an eye on the time.

12 hours later, around 8am yesterday:

Me: Oh **** I forgot to take the Fanta out of the freezer yesterday.

It’s now 5pm more than 40 hours later and I’m still waiting for the ice in the Fanta to thaw.

Any reason is a good reason for ice-cream

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